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About Me Member Procrastinator +Fuse (+[__]·:·)16/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 8 Months
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»XVI. Pondering & Boredom

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 13, 2009, 9:24 PM


•••►Mood: Content
•••►:music:: Creed



•••►Update:

Yesterday I met a man on the way home, tormented by voices in his head. He sat by the door at the end of the train, didn't have much to gain. Asking for time, many avoided his eyes, afraid he'd have a random outburst. He yelled until somoene answered, placing him in a submissive mood for a few moments. However, when we reached Castro, he began to yell again, asking if he was homebound to Stonestown.

I felt an urge to answer out, but I somehow knew in that situation I was better off quiet. I stayed standing in place, recoiling at the harsh tone he spat with. It was easy to see he wasn't far from unstable, and I urged the train to speed up just so I'd feel safe. I felt nervous, but at the same time sorrow saddened me.

How difficult it must be to be schizophrenic, or to have any mental disease that impairs your ability to function "normally". It left me wondering how it must feel to be an outcast, to be an obvious one at least. I wanted to help him out but I knew better...

He looked at many of us, then looked behind himself and around at places where no one stood. "What do you want with me?!" he asked multiple times, shifting around as he yelled, "Stop speaking to me! Stop it!" Then he'd look at us, but he wasn't really seeing us. "Get out of my head!" he growled before tightening himself up in the corner of the chair and barrier that separated the chair from the platform. I looked away after some time, respecting him and resisted to peek and see what he was doing. When the muni stopped at my destination I got off without a word, heading upstairs and across the street to await my mom.

Ever since yesterday I haven't been able to get that experience out of my mind. It wasn't like it really made a huge impact, but... I don't know. I feel like something should have been done for him.. He was obviously poor, probably homeless, but I felt that he should have some sort of medical evaluation or some sort of thing to alleviate the voices he heard in his head. I think I felt that this situation was unjust because I believe everyone should have some medical coverage AKA healthcare people.

Ugh, this place disgusts me... how we can't even care for the poorest of the poor. I can't wait to move out of America. Someday I will. I know it.

If something stopped me, I'd remain in San Francisco, become the doctor I want to be, and help out people who can't afford surgery. Fuck the celebrities and their need for plastic surgery to enhance beauty. I'd rather give plastic surgery to people who need it, people who had some birth defect or were shot or burned, or something.

Blah I just made this a vent, when I intended it to be a story. Oh well.

I'm bored as well.
Add me via MSN or AIM~



•••►Quiz:

blah



•••►Art Status:

COMMISSIONS

Mitharch/Meiarch commissions = 100k
*rarely open. Usually only one spot at a time

1. =Vintaye - rogue mitharch, sketching
* Fiction reserved next spothur *

General commissions = 45k (not open yet)
1. ~Debauches - Xam, sketching
2. X
3. X

TRADES
1. =Viterai - jager
2. X

Owed Stuff
1. ~Ospi2ki - kiba
other things I can't remember at the moment /fail



•••►Friends:
if I forgot you tell me D:

ALSO. if you wanna get to know me add me on MSN or AIM~

:iconvintaye::iconunroot::icondejameenpaz::icontigers62699::iconzikki-chan::icondarkengrave::iconmuttkip::iconkhuronji::iconzaphaire:

RL Friends
:iconadayinreality::iconrh-rhat:

  • Mood: Lazy
  • Drinking: water

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